The Worst of You
by wrath and angels
Summary: Sollux needs a book, and there's only one copy left in his town. Then a jerk swiped it from right under him, that was bad. Then they met at a party, that was worse. Then the next morning they wake up naked next to each other, it's the worst situation possible.
1. The Gift

Sollux was gasping for breath by the entrance of Barnes and Nobles. He had just completed a rigorous sprint from the parking lot to the store. The summer heat combined with the running caused him to be drenched in sweat and left him desperate for air. He mentally scolded himself for forgetting that his best friend's birthday was today. Ignoring the strain in his chest, he rushed into the large bookstore. Sollux made his way to the help desk and was frustrated to see that there was no employee there. He pressed the little, silver bell over and over.

"Yo, chill out with the button. No rush. What do you need?" said a blond guy.

"I need a copy of," Sollux looked at the smudged writing on his hand, dammit, he couldn't read a single racked his brain, searching for the title of the romance novel that Karkat had been talking about forever. "'The Worst of You'? It's a romance novel." That wasn't right.

"You mean 'The Best of Me', right? The one by Nicholas Sparks?" That sounded right. That was the book he was looking for. Sollux celebrated a little inside.

"Yes! That one!"

"Well, tough luck, bro. I just came back from showing another guy that book. Last copy, too. Try talking to the guy. Purple streak in his hair, hipster glasses, he's hard to miss. Or you can just order it online," the employee offered.

But even before his sentence was over, Sollux had rushed away, searching for the guy who had something very important. It was a matter of life or death. He frantically searched the entire store, from the kid's section to the Starbucks, but there was no sign of the purple haired guy.

He exited the store, shoulders slumped in defeat. What would he get for Karkat? Sollux had no ideas at all. He regretted tuning out Karkat's long rants and tirades. Sollux was absolutely sure he'd get one if he showed up to Karkat's party empty handed. Maybe he'd get a prank gift, like a dildo. No, John would probably do something along those lines. Clothing? No, Kanaya was making something for him. Food? It'd probably be eaten by the food vacuum also known as Gamzee. Sollux gave up for now, his creative juices were drained.

When he arrived home, Sollux was not really surprised to find that Karkat was fussing around while John haphazardly put up decorations and set up food. Sollux deftly maneuvered himself away from the ball of anger and into his room. He slumped down at his desk and looked at his computer. He opened up his coding program. Sollux covered his ears with headphones to muffle out Karkat's shouts coming from downstairs. Karkat. Coding. Karkat and coding. Then it hit him. Karkat was always interested in coding, but he failed miserably at it. That was it, he'd get Karkat a book to help him code, with his own annotations since he was obviously the best programmer around. Genius.

After another trip to the bookstore and back, Sollux was satisfied with his progress so far. A book. Step 1 of 4 complete. Now all he had to do was add in some commentary, write a "heartfelt" message, and wrap it up. He had three hours till the party started. Just three hours! There was no way he could read and annotate a three hundred page book in three hours. No, he could do it and he would do it. Pushing his glasses up and clenching his fist in determination - and a totally not habitual way from his weeaboo days- Sollux got to work.

Two hours, forty-five minutes, and five cups of coffee later, Sollux was done. He felt like his eyeballs were falling out and he'd turned into the Hunchback of Notre Dame. But he was proud of himself. And he had fifteen minutes to get ready for the party. After taking a brief shower, Sollux headed for his closet. He decided that he'd dress nicely, just for Karkat. Sollux donned a short-sleeved button up which was black on the right of the buttons and white on the left, a pair of beige pants, and checkered Vans. It was an outfit that Kanaya had put together for him, but he'd only worn it once. He did a once over in the mirror and decided he looked good enough. It was much better than his baggy t-shirt and sweatpants look.

The buzzing of his phone caught Sollux's attention. He had gotten a rather long text from his dear best friend.

"WHERE THE EVERLOVING FUCK ARE YOU? YOU LEFT THE HOUSE *FOUR HOURS* AGO AND NEVER FUCKING CAME BACK. DID YOU FORGET THAT TODAY, JUNE 12, IS THE BIRTHDAY OF YOUR SO CALLED BEST FRIEND, YOU UNGRATEFUL MORONIC SHITSACK. ARE YOUR FEW BRAIN CELLS NOT CAPABLE OF RETAINING VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION? COME TO THE LIVING ROOM IN FIVE MINUTES, SHITSTAIN, OR I'M CHANGING THE LOCKS."

Sollux was five goddamn minutes late, and Karkat was acting like Sollux murdered a kitten. Sollux grabbed his gift and rushed down the stairs to see that about half the living room was filled with guests. He saw a table piled with gifts and tossed his gift onto it.

"I'm going to end your pathetic life, Sollux fucking Captor," a voice shouted from behind him. When he turned around, he was greeted with two middle fingers stretched gracefully in front of his face. Lovely.

"Love you too, KK," Sollux said sarcastically to Karkat. He ruffled Karkat's hair, making it messier than it already was.

"Fuck off, bulgesucker. Where were you hiding for the last four fucking hours?"

"It's a secret," Sollux said in a sly tone. Karkat rolled his eyes and flipped him off one more time.

"You were probably jacking off in your landfill of a room. Whatever, I don't have time to concern myself with your sad excuse of a life." And with that very affectionate ment, Karkat left to greet the other guests. Sollux's eyes followed Karkat's path to the front door when he saw him. Him. _Him._ It had to be. There was probably no one else in the world with that combination. Purple streak in his hair with hipster glasses. The guy who took the last "The Longest Ride", the guy who caused Sollux so much trouble and effort. Sollux didn't even know his name but he already hated him.


	2. The Alcohol

"KK! KK!" Sollux cried. He had to know who that guy was. He sprinted to where Karkat was greeting the guy.

"You made it. I was hoping your miserable ass had crawled into a hole and died," Karkat said to the guy. Sollux was staring at Karkat, eyes wide with alarm. Karkat was using a much lighter and friendlier tone than usual. Who the fuck was this guy, and how did he make Karkat nice?

He turned to face the other guy. The guy looked somewhat familiar. His well-defined jawline, the sharp nose, and plump lips. It was all too familiar. Sollux knew that face. He knew it well. He didn't know the name of the guy who the face belonged to, though. He noticed that Karkat and Hipster Douche- that was the nickname that Sollux temporarily assigned him- had saw that Sollux was observing Hipster Douche.

"Can your liquified brain remember this lame bag of cats?" Karkat asked. Was he asking Hipster Douche or Sollux? Hipster Douche looked surprised for a second, until his expression twisted into a look of disgust. Did he know Sollux?

"Sollux fucking Captor," Hipster Douche snarled. That voice! It brought up fifty-thousand different memories from high school for Sollux. Most of them were unpleasant. Sollux remembered being bloodied and bruised with two black eyes. He remembered his favorite pair of glasses being shattered. He remembered being pushed down the stairs. But he also remembered getting between two best friends. He remembered breaking some Harry Potter memorabilia. He remembered flushing homework down a toilet. He remembered Eridan Ampora.

"Eridan," Sollux replied.

He swallowed a lump in his throat. Eridan looked much more intimidating than he did in high school. He was taller than Sollux, and Sollux was six foot two. Underneath his violet button up, Sollux could see the outline of muscles. Puberty was quite nice to Eridan. Back in high school, Eridan was a science nerd and a Potterhead. He ran the Harry Potter fan club at school, was the science teacher's biggest pet, and was about 5'6". Everyday, he wore a scarf- no matter the weather, and most of them were Harry Potter themed-, ridiculously uncoordinated clothing, and thick, round glasses. He still had glasses but these complemented his facial structure, was nicely dressed, and he seemed to have ditched the scarves.

Sollux stopped slouching, raised his chin, and put on a smirk. "It's nice to see that you've gone from nerd to hipster. I'm guessing that you'll be retaining your loser image for the rest of your life?"

"I'm guessing that you can still get beat up by losers?" Eridan shot back. Sollux just glared at Eridan and he glared back.

"GO HAVE HOT, ANGRY SEX IN A ROOM, YOU TWO. JUST NOT MINE, PREFERABLY GAMZEE'S. YOUR PENT UP DESIRE TO BONE EACH OTHER IS SUFFOCATING ME." Karkat broke the unofficial staring match that the other two were having. Sollux and Eridan both muttered under their breaths and scampered away from each other.

Sollux was distressed, he didn't expect Hipster Douche to be someone he knew. But what was Eridan doing with a romantic novel? Was he into that stuff? How lame. Sollux went into the kitchen and found what he needed. Alcohol. Lots of it. Sollux headed straight for the Everclear. He wanted to get drunk, fast. He didn't want to be sober when his high school cru-, no, enemy, was in his house. By the fourth shot, Sollux was already starting to feel buzzed. His lanky body didn't handle alcohol well. Sollux grabbed a can of beer and went into the living room where most of the people were. He took a swig with each clumpy step.

Sollux was swaying as he walked and his vision was getting blurry. People around him were sucking each others faces and grinding to the music. Sollux, inspired by the alcohol and his peers, grabbed the nearest guy's face and smashed his lips onto theirs. The other guy didn't seem to mind, and the two melted into an animalistic, sloppy make out. Hormones and alcohol were acting up in both of them. Sollux grinded into the man, who didn't seem to mind. In fact, he too moved his hips in sync with Sollux. The other guy pulled away from Sollux to take a breath. His eyes widened in shock.

"Wwhat the fuck, Sol!" shouted the guy.

Sol? How dare he use a nickname for Sollux, he didn't even know him! Wait, he did know him if the guy used a nickname. Who was he? Sollux was having a hard time placing a name to the face through the alcohol induced blur. But after a moment, the guy didn't seem to care about anything anymore, and the two engaged in a messy make out again. Sollux was frustrated and desperate for more contact. Not breaking apart from the kiss, he dragged the other guy up the stairs. Through his muddled thoughts, he hoped that nobody decided to use his room as a place to fuck. He shoved the guy into his door and simultaneously twisted his doorknob, swinging his door wide open. How he managed to do that was a mystery. Thankfully, there was no one in there. The other guy pushed Sollux onto the bed and the two continued to passionately kiss.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sollux woke up with a terrible pounding in his head and his entire body ached. He couldn't remember a thing or where he was. After squinting and seeing his horrendously messy desk, he realized he was in his own room. Sollux patted around his nightstand for his glasses. When he put them on, he realized something was wrong. These prescriptions weren't his; they were way too strong. Sollux took them off and looked to his side. He saw a muscled back covered in freckles, bruises, and claw marks? Sollux scrambled to find his own glasses, and put them on. When he looked on the floor, he saw clothing, not just his, scattered haphazardly. He spotted his boxers on the floor next to a pair of briefs and realized he was buck naked. He quickly snatched them off the ground and put them on.

Sollux looked to the guy by his side was there a guy in his bed, and who was he? He was still turned facing the other side so Sollux couldn't see the guy's face. Sollux slightly lifted the sheets and saw that the other guy was completely naked as well. Sollux carefully tapped his shoulders. The man stretched once and turned around sleepily. He slightly opened his eyes, shut them again, and then opened them widely. Sollux's eyes went to the purple streak in the guy's hair. He let out a piercing shriek as he realized one thing. He woke up naked in bed with Eridan Ampora.


	3. The Aftermath

Five seconds later, Sollux's door flew off the hinges, smashing into the wall. And in its place stood an angry Karkat.

"What the fucking hell is going on here?" Karkat angrily shouted. His eyes roamed over to the bed where Sollux and Eridan were covering their bodies with a sheet. The parts of their bodies that were not covered by the sheets were bare. Somehow Karkat managed to let out a shriek even louder than Sollux's. Sollux tried jumped out of his bed but got tangled in his sheets and fell to the floor, exposing Eridan. Karkat let out another high pitched shrill. Sollux managed to untangle himself from the sheets and clamped his hand over Karkat's wide open mouth. Karkat looked like he was five seconds from fainting. His cheeks were redder than the shitty valentine's day chocolate boxes.

"When I told you shitsacks to go have hot, angry sex, I was being sarcastic! Ah, you fucktards are going to be the death of me," Karkat screeched. His face was turning redder by the second and it looked like he was going to have a stroke. Eridan was struggling to muffle his laughing. Suddenly he burst into laughter.

"Now I can scratch 'having drunken sex with someone I hate' off my bucket list," Eridan said.

"Get the image out of my head! It's seared into my memory, gah! And to think, I was on my way to thank you for the book," Karkat sunk his face into his hands.

"You're welcome," Sollux and Eridan said simultaneously.

"He was thanking me for the novel," Eridan boasted.

"You dumbass, why would he come into my room to thank you?" Sollux retorted. "Obviously he was amazed by my godly coding instructions."

Eridan seemed confused at first, but after he thought about it for a second he realized that Sollux was right.

"Whatever, I bet Karkat still liked the novel I got him much better than your stupid geek book," Eridan said.

"You got me a novel?" Karkat asked. "I haven't gotten the chance to open your gift. Wait a second… No! You didn't"

Eridan smirked, "Mhmm, I did."

Karkat pounced on Eridan, who was still on Sollux's bed, and started strangling/hugging him. Meanwhile, Sollux looked extremely lost.

"Ah you fucking moron, I love you! You're the best worst friend I've ever had!" Karkat said through choked laughter.

"Kar" Eridan said, his expression dark.

"What?"

"I'm still naked."

And then came Karkat's third shriek of the day. "You fucker! Put your damn clothes on! Why were they off in the first place?" he yelled as he jumped off the bed. Another shriek. "I almost forgot about that! What the fuck did you guys do last night?"

"KK can you get lost!" Sollux screamed. Karkat left with two middles fingers stuck up into the air. He scampered back for a second to place the door awkwardly where it once stood. "Y'all better not fuck again!"

"Fuck you!" Sollux and Eridan yelled towards the door.

The two then stared at each other. The awkward silence was suffocating them. Eridan bent down to grab his clothes off the ground. He shifted around in the bed under the covers for a moment as he got dressed. Sollux pretended he was looking in the other direction, but he couldn't help himself. He slightly glanced at Eridan's body. His eyes went straight to his abs that trailed down to the "V". Sollux had to consciously stop himself from drooling. Realizing that he was practically naked too, Sollux went to his drawers and picked up a pair of sweatpants. He sat down on his work chair and stared at Eridan who was sitting on Sollux's bed.

"What the fuck happened last night!?" he shouted at Eridan.

"I don't know? You were hitting on me, we were drunk, we woke up on your bed. That's all I remember," Eridan said smirking. "Oh yeah and my entire body is sore because of all these bruises and scratches. You're kinkier than I thought."

"Sh-shut the fu-uck up!" Sollux stammered, his face completely red. His inhibitions were lowered when he was drunk, and his worst kinks came out. Eridan burst into laughter.

"You're so pathetic," Eridan said through his laughter. His laughter ended abruptly when Sollux grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

"Oh yeah? You didn't seem to have any problems jumping into bed with me. You sure you don't have some fucked up crush on me?" Sollux had decided that he was done being taunted. It was his turn now. "You know, I'm starting to remember last night better now. How desperate you were. You're such a bottom too, you know. And as for the wounds, you asked for them."

Sollux leaned into Eridan's face, his fist still clutching Eridan's shirt. "You begged for it," Sollux whispered into Eridan's ear. Sollux let go of the shirt and Eridan slightly slumped into the bed. Then, he slammed Sollux into the same wall that Karkat slammed the door into. The jagged pieces of the wall were pushing on Sollux's back.

"If I do recall, you're the hornbag that got us into this situation in the first place," Eridan hissed. "Don't put this over me. It's all you. You're the one who got drunk off your ass. You're the one who grabbed my face and shoved your tongue down my throat. You're the needy bitch"

Eridan shoved Sollux into the wall one more time. Sollux's legs gave out and he fell onto the floor. After making sure he had everything he came with, Eridan got out of the room. He found Karkat and briefly apologized before he left the house. Sollux was still in the place that Eridan left him. He didn't know why, but tears were streaming down his face.


End file.
